Not a Bashing, Just a Theory...

Dear Oprah Winfrey and Kristin Richard,

I decided to watch the Oprah Show today because the topic of conversation intrigued me: why did Kristin’s marriage end with Lance Armstrong?

As it was, the cycling world was in shock. No one had heard much about the marriage besides the little amusing tidbits that came with any famous marriage. That you were happy, famous, and were overcoming the odds by creating Luke, Isabelle, and Grace. These were all things that gave Americans hope. Lance had overcome the impossible with you at his side, and as a couple, you both seemed unstoppable.

But then it came. News that perhaps this curtain of athletics and family togetherness was masking something not as perfect as we saw on the front of Bicycling Magazine. These were words that made the fans and the media uneasy. Words of separation and a suspicion of divorce. How can this be? ESPN’s power couple was falling apart and no one knew why.

And now, after your eventual separation and divorce, his broken relationship with Sheryl Crow [whom, it’s ok, I don’t really like either…..and does anyone find it ironic that she’s taken over Lance’s Subaru ads?] , we hear that you claim the failure of the marriage to be mostly the fault of both of you losing yourself along the way. You claim that after you fell in love with him, you lost your sense of independence and self. You always had a ‘list’ of why you loved and admired him, but your own self-image suffered along the way.

Not to be said as a cynic or anything [for I, myself, have never been married], but I suspect this to be the reason that the marriage success rate is dropping. In today’s day and age, you are more likely to become vastly wealthy than to be able to stay in a marriage. As my high school Advanced Placement American History teacher would say, “Go to the alter and flip a coin. That’ll tell you whether it’ll work or not.” To tell the truth, this saddens me.

I don’t think it’s because we’ve modernized. I don’t think it’s because we, as a country and world, have become more mature or independent. I think it’s because we, as a worldwide community, and especially the United States has become more self-centered. Today we live in a ‘Me! Me!! Me!!!” society which prides itself on not knowing it’s neighbors and keeping itself TO itself at whatever costs. Many of those today who are paranoid about the government looking into their files are housewives sharing baking recipes and guys questioning their latest eBay buy. The government doesn’t care about that. It cares about those dangerous people that won’t ever speak up about their rights being imposed upon, because they would hate to bring attention to themselves.

So why do we care? Why is it that we believe our freedom of speech has been encroached upon*? It’s because all we care about is that we are heard. Not the words we use or the story we tell, but just the fact that our voices, diction, and overall being is put out on the line as our own personal sacrifice just so that we can brag and cry that we, as American citizens, have made a difference in the world.

That’s why I don’t think marriages work today [no, not because of excessive blogging]. People are afraid.

They’re afraid of giving. Giving time, giving money, giving effort , and mostly, giving themselves completely to a cause that they believe in. Perhaps, in a sense, what I am trying to say, is that many Americans today are losing faith.

As God becomes more and more a profitable thing by high-strung and self-taught religious communities, the true message of why he was here has begun to elude us. To all those that have kept their religious path clear, than God bless you and keep you, but there are many, no matter how they worship, that have found God an ‘inconvenience’ and therefore, ignore His existence. [To tell the truth, I don’t even care what you worship, as long as you have some sort of guiding force in your life which will give you total satisfaction……….and doesn’t involve getting bitten by snakes, because that’s just not cool].

But back to the topic at hand. Why don’t marriages last? I think the main reason that comes to my mind is that people aren’t willing to believe. People aren’t willing to trust another person with their life love, ideas, and being to the point where they ‘belong’ to them. So many find marriage as a form of emotional slavery. That’s not what it is. It is a sacred union between two people willing to give everything they have just to be with this one person for the rest of their lives. [EX. Hollywood marriages aren’t really marriages, their more like ‘emotional loans’]

I’m sorry if you disagree, but much like going into a test, if you have your heart set on failure in the beginning, then all you shall find is failure in the end. It’s true that there are many people who believe that they legitimately love each other, go through getting married and it ‘just doesn’t work out’. This could stem from the fact that they were not dating or engaged long enough to realize their mistake, or that one or the other had some sort of addiction that hindered the marriage, and of course if abuse is involved that it should come to a swift end, but in my theory of life, those should really be the only reasons it ‘doesn’t work out’. If you’re really ready, really trying, and really in love, then differences can easily be resolved. It’s work. It’s energy, it’s time and it’s patience. These are many things that so many today are not willing to give. So wrapped up in their own lives. So independent and short sited. Prenuptial agreements and 4th and 5th husbands and wives are so common that children bring home forms that clearly state ‘guardian’ rather than ‘mother/father’s name’.

Does this sadden anyone else?

As a little girl I always imagined getting married to be………

Well, I must tell the truth. Unlike a lot of little girls, I disliked the thought of getting married. I didn’t like dresses and flowers. My GI Joes certainly were not playing with my Barbies and that was that. But I had witnessed the ceremonies. I had seen my aunts and uncles standing on the alter of the church with the person they loved. I had been a bystander to something that they found so sacred that it was never going to be broken. I suppose that’s what I always thought of marriage. I thought that divorce was actually illegal for a long time. My uncle became a divorcee a few years ago because his wife ran away with their child. I didn’t understand then what I do now.

She thought her life was being intruded upon. His love was strangling her. What he felt for her was only a taste of what she thought the rest of the world had in store, and she ran to go get it, child in tow.

So to you, Ms. Richard, I say this. I am glad that you did not bash Lance. I am sorry that your husband is such a dedicated man when it comes to riding, but it is understandable; no one wins that much without that sort of dedication. I’m sorry that he didn’t have that gusto when it came to your marriage. I hope that, when you say that you sort of lost yourself along the way, that you have now found yourself, and I also hope that someday you WILL be remarried, and when you are, you’ll feel yourself change. This change, though, will be an agreement of the heart and a compromise of the soul. I hope that you shall always feel love for Lance even if he is not there, and that you will believe that he will one day be happy too. I’m just hoping that you didn’t leave the man that you loved merely because you felt like water to his oil.

Happiness on your journey ahead,


Caitlin Shea O’Leary

University of Kentucky
Lexington, KY




* "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances"

AKA

You may practice your religious beliefs and speak out against your government without conviction by government law or force.

Read it and weep.

A Day In The Life....

So I guess that’s why they call it the blues…..or college…or whatever [I’m sorry if you didn’t catch the reference, but my familiarity with music astounds some people…Patrick…].

Beside the point!

The point here is that I haven’t written in a while, and since I know that there are people out there that actually read this, I figure I might as well tell you what’s going on. Not one of these little filler posts. Just what happens to be going on with me lately. Call it…a whim? If you are not brave, then perhaps, a whimp?

So yes, first off, let’s start with the basics. I’m still at UK and I love it. The campus is such a great place to be. The seasons change, one to the other, and I can look from nineteen stories up to see the snowfall upon rooftops or the rain that will ruin my day. The campus itself is actually more beautiful to me now than it was before I left here on break to Coconut Creek. This isn’t because I have discovered some new wonderful beauty about it, or that I’ve become philosophical, or even that drugs are involved. It merely involves a lens. The lens of an eye, but even more so, the lens of my new camera. My brother, in his infinite wisdom, has gotten me addicted to something. Fortunately for me it’s cheap and yet still fulfilling. If you’re still a bit lost about that which I speak, let me give you a hint: photography.

I don’t leave the room without my camera now. It’s small and stout, which allows it’s easy travel, yet uneasy losing ability. Though it’s not as advanced as Patrick’s, it still allows me to have some say over the exposure and clarity of my shots, which is all I need. After a brief yet fun experience at the Georgia Aquarium, I now know enough to be able to correctly use it to it’s full potential. Ever since I’ve returned to the mundane surroundings of the campus, now, I’ve discovered images that I never thought I would have found before. It’s very…cool.

Beyond photography, though, new developments have taken place on the educational front as well. I made Dean’s List last semester with a Theater major and a few stray classes in tow, yet I still wasn’t really fulfilled. See, there is a slight difference between Theater majors and the rest of the majors out there.

Theater majors depend on other people to tell them that they are a success. Other majors can rely on self-victories. Besides perhaps the School of Nursing, I have never heard of the speeches that come from the Theater Dept. come from any other college. “I hope you’re not in theater because you just like it. If you’re not good at it, look elsewhere. Theater is made up of people that are already better than you. If you really want to make an impact, then you have to not only out-speak your peers, but your elders as well.” say most of the teachers on the first days of classes. My acting teacher gives any want-to-be actors little choice in the matter. “If you want to act, you must uproot and go to LA. No one will notice anyone from Kentucky unless you want to do Children’s Theater. Even if you do move, though, your chances of successfully being noticed by someone who matter are little more than zilch.”

Nothing like building you up.

But that would lead to being a good thing. As I sat listening to the speech for the 9th or 10th time in my Vocal Production class, I realized that I was in the wrong class. No, the classroom was correct, all of the people there were on the roster [perhaps except for a scruffy fellow self-nicknamed “Stoney” whose blank stare could have rivaled a dog’s second eyelid], and the class being taught was what I signed up for. The thing that was most out of place was me.

Theater, as I told Chris the other day, is something that I may enjoy. I shall always love theater,. I will always go to shows, enjoy shows, sing show tunes and keep up with what’s new and the greatest of the old….but though it was my love, it was not my passion, and therefore it was something I had to let go. A man who owned a bike shop once told me that to turn your hobby into your work is a relaxation suicide. The more I sat there, the more it hit me. ‘I don’t know what I want to do with theater. I could advertise, sure, but really, why am I here? [Much like that whole ‘Why are we on Earth?’ thing, but on a smaller scale] I’m not talented enough at anything that they would play me for my work. How am I supposed to be able to live off of this?‘

Last, though, I discovered that sitting in that class was….boring. Interesting, yet, but boring. It didn’t catch my interest. It didn’t spark a light that a teacher would see and say “Now YOU’RE going to make it!”. I felt as though I had done something so long , been so accustomed to the thought that that was what I was going to do, that it wasn’t real anymore. Any sort of want to fit it into my life as a commonplace had gone, left by a sort of dread. My only hope? Find out what would full in that hole and leave me at peace.

So I thought it out logically. I started at what I was good at and worked from there. First off, and most obvious, would be advertising. I love to draw and I’ve done many posters for people back in London as a sort of charity work, especially for the church. Catch phrases and silly commercial ideas have always come to my mind as I see something new coming my way. It’s not necessarily something I enjoy, though, it’s just something I’m good at.

Again, another natural choice: Public Relations. Though as a small child I always said it as “Private Relations” because I couldn’t tell the difference, dealing with people has never been a problem for me. I’ve always wanted to work at Disney on The Great Movie Ride in MGM, which counts as well. My idea of a fulfilling workday, though, doesn’t include being uber nice and spunky to everyone who walks through my door. I want to be able to do my job, do it well, do it right, and not have to worry about what people think of me.

So now for the twist.

If you read this blog, you’ve been privy to some strange readings, I’m sure. I’ve written on all kinds of things, mostly concerning my own ideologies within my current world of obligations and homework vacations. Though all of my soapboxes have been built at different heights, they are all made of the same material. Words. Words make the world go round. There are tons of words that I don’t know, but there are a mere few that I do. English makes the world go round. It is something that I have never given any thought to. It’s been a class to me, but never necessarily a ‘companion’. A tool at the most. Now I’m finding, though, that I enjoy it. I enjoy reading and analyzing stories to their full potential. My English teacher last semester even told me that her name was always available for a reference whenever I needed one. She refused to say ‘better or worse’, but she always claimed that I had a ‘unique writing style’ that ‘explored all aspects of what needed to be said and what needed to be left up to the reading to figure out for themselves’. Writing stories, responses, quick papers….anything in essay form, has always come quite easily for me.

But no, I’m not done. An English major may be good, but it gets better and far more difficult. After I hopefully gain a BA in English, I hope on from there. The University of Kentucky College of Law was a natural choice. Though Mom and I have talked about it once or twice, it never crossed my mind as being a possible major until I got it into my head that ‘hey, I’m in college, I might as well do something that I will enjoy.’

The law fascinates me. The legal bounds of anything astound me. How some people get away with the most obvious of indiscrepancies covering the evidence, yet the most innocent are held blows my mind. So now I’m going to try to fix it. Not a single-handed self-appointed superstar like the stereotype theater major becomes, but rather, I’ll be making a difference in people’s lives, not just entertaining them.

Beyond my major change from Theatre=Law/English, not a whole lot has really been going on. Corey and I, who are still together, will be going skiing this Saturday on the Perfect North slopes in Indiana with my old youth group. Brooke has gotten us addicted to the show LOST, and if you’ve never seen it, it’s actually very well done. It’s a cliffhanger show, though, where everything is very dramatic, yet, the characters are so laid back all at the same time. Perhaps that is why it’s so good. I don’t know, all I know is that we have five episodes to go till the Season One finale and I can’t wait to see how it ends up.

I went to Hamburg Pavilion last week to look for a job. I won’t die without money anytime soon, but I am running out. With a light workload right now and a transfer optimal for the summer, I am going to apply at Linens-n-Things soon so that I can begin getting in the groove of working again.

Otherwise, I’m getting really tired. It’s 1:54 am here and my roommate has already gone to bed. Given, she has an earlier class than me, but I don’t wish to disturb her, nor do I want to be drowsy when I wake up for my 11 am classes today [I say as I smile gleefully to myself…].

I worked out today. I hurt. Ouch.

My neck hurts when I sleep. Ouch.

I’m not really sure what else you want from me. That’s all that’s really been going on. Other then that, my lie has been fine, great almost. But now…now I’m just so tired that bed sounds good….g’night!

Ads Follow-up

It seems that someone read my last post! Or not. Probably not. The system probably got enough complaints that now they are requiring all comments to go through the ‘human or not’ test. You know the one I’m talking about. The one where you read the letters and re-write them again? The thing is, computers [right now] can’t read them because the letters are easily hidden or in a skewed font. Thanks goodness. No more false hopes of meaningful or witty comments!

ads

For anyone who has a blog, they’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

One of the greatest things someone can do for a person who blogs is leave a comment. The blogger’s heart sores with excitement when they see “1 comments” a the bottom of their very on piece of posting material. Of curse, now that has all changed.

With a new age comes new technology, and with new technology comes new ways to…advertise. Yes, that’s right. From flyers in your mailbox to junk porn in your e-mails to fake comments on blogging sites in order to advertise THEIR product on your own creative space. This really burns my toes.

On the internet there are many ways to make money off of websites using advertising, including hosting advertising for a company. every time someone clicks on their banner add on your site, the company and you make money off of them. Sort of ‘money from ignorance’ or ‘money from curiosity’, if you will. How many of us daily play the little shooter flashing game at the bottom of the screen just to shoot something….I know I do. I don’t want their FRE PRIZE!!!!!! But it kind of does make me wish I had had those two seconds of my life back.

But now, now there is no conscious decision involved in having an ugly advertisement on your site. They take care of it all for you! It’s easy! Simply write a post, come back a week later and there it is! A shiny new ad that makes no money for you and buco bucks for anyone it leads to. And don’t worry, you’ll make no money off of it even though it’s your site hosting it.

Geezy pete.

There’s something wrong with that.

First Day of Class

Tell us a little about yourself!

Let's be enthusiastic!!

Make sure to try out for our production of ....!!!

What's your name again?


-Acting I
-Roundtable


not alot changes from teacher to teacher